Creases was written in October 2017, from two crappy poems I wrote in 2016, and is the first short story I published back in June 2018. It was then included in my short story collection Unsound Sounds.
When I wrote Creases, I was just starting to take my writing seriously. I had always been one to write little stories and sketches in my journal, but I was at the point of considering sharing my stories for a wider audience than just myself. I was testing the water to see if I could ‘be a writer’ as it were.
One thing I found when reading stories about mental health is that they often water down the significance or misery of the reality of what it is like to live in that dark place. I wanted a story that didn’t have a happy ever after. Some people do recover from suicidal thoughts and that’s genuinely a wonderful thing, but many don’t, and I didn’t feel that was fairly portrayed in literature. So I wrote the story I wanted to read. Creases is fiction. I am not the protagonist in this story. They are a fictional character and they have shown up in other stories of mine. I was very much writing what I knew, though.
I haven’t read the story in a while, and looking back on it now, I cringe a little. The writing is terrible, and it’s a little preachy in areas. There’s no symbolism or cleverness in there. I’d like to think I would write it very differently now. But with that said, I did get some positive feedback about the message it gave and how it was a very real account of living miserably. The feedback was great, I appreciated it more than I can express, and it encouraged me to keep writing.
Today is #WorldSuicidePreventionDay and so I thought it would be fitting to offer the story as a free PDF. Peace and Love.